Running The Lemon Car Gauntlet
(If You Can't Fix Their Car, Fix Their Head)

By Donlad P. Ladew Staff Writer
Norman Taylor & Associates

Believe it or not, this is a quote from a Service Manager at a large Automobile Dealership. "If you can’t fix their cars, fix their head!" What does it mean? Colloquially it means, grab your wallet and hide the family silver. It means your automobile, motor home, boat or motorcycle has a defect or defects that the dealer or manufacturer cannot or does not want to fix. From this point forward both the manufacturer and dealer are going to do everything possible to make the owner give up and go away.

The Manufacturer Knows About the Problem

Believe this if you believe nothing else: the manufacturer and its dealerships’ know about the problem. Fix this firmly in your mind. In all likelihood the defect or defects were manufactured into the vehicle through engineering error, poor parts supplied to the manufacturer, inadequate quality control or simply the statistics of manufacturing so many products catching up. The manufacturer has probably sent out service memos (TSBs) about the problem. The owner of a lemon seldom sees these memos.

It’s a Statistical Thing

For instance, even if the auto manufacturer had achieved the elusive six sigma of quality fame—three cars in a million with defects—someone’s going to end up with those three cars. And just so you get a feel for the possibility of this occurring, it means that all 15000 parts in the average automobile would have to be manufactured to the six-sigma standard. They aren’t—manufactured to six- sigma—that is: Not even close.

We’ve all heard of J.D. Power and Associates. They do statistical surveys of various industries. The automobile industry is perhaps where they are best known. It’s a coup to get a good rating from J.D. Power and Associates. The figure on the following page shows the number of defects reported per hundred vehicles for each of the principle automobile manufacturers in 2003. Here it is, 2006 and little has changed.

Fix Their Head

What’s this business about fixing their head? The service manager or manufacturer’s representative is talking about deceiving the vehicle owner. This is what we call, running the gauntlet. As noted, it isn’t just the dealership; the manufacturer is part of this gauntlet, very much a part. In criminal circles con men call this flim flam. Here’s the definition of flim flam: A lie or hoax; a deception: Nonsense; drivel. In the words of the street, messing with someone’s head is commonly used. Regardless of where the definition comes from it involves deception. A series of actions are going to be taken by the dealership and the manufacturer whose sole purpose is to make you give up and go away. That is correct; go away.

The Gauntlet - The Never Ending Run Around

The manufacturers do not think this is criminal, they think it is business, and good business at that. If you are the owner of a Lemon vehicle you have probably been put through a run around that makes your average trip to the local bureaucracy seem like a vacation to Disneyland. This run around can take many months, even years; incredible amounts of wasted time; costs that you did not anticipate and probably can ill afford; and less visibly but certainly as important, ruin your peace of mind, cause family upsets and arguments, even endanger your life. Sound familiar?

A word gauntlet is defined as, a form of punishment or torture in which people armed with sticks or other weapons arrange themselves in two lines facing each other and beat the person forced to run between them. It is more than a little sad that owning a lemon vehicle can be quite similar.

The Big Picture

Let’s look at how this works. It starts at the top, not at the dealership. It involves the dealership but it does not start there, no more than the troubles at Enron began with a rate specialist on the trading floor selling a power contract. Here’s a possibility. At a corporate shareholder meeting it is stated that things aren’t looking good for the stock. The CEO is told to do something about it. He or she is told to cut costs. One of the first things that is always cut is training. Also that budget that allows dealerships to get reimbursed for repeat warranty repairs is going to get cut. This creates a tremendous lack of incentive on the part of the dealership to do the job right. This descends the corporate ladder to District Service Managers issuing orders about the budget to buyback Lemons. The 800 lines at the manufacturer are trained to smoothly defer complaining customers back to dealerships instead of actually evaluating the reported defects. Remember, "If you can’t fix their car, fix their head."

It isn’t Corporations; It’s the People Running Them

Ford, Chrysler, Mercedes, VW are the names of manufacturing companies, not people. Yes, there were people named Ford, Chrysler and such but they are not running these companies any longer. People cause problems and misery. It is the people at the top of these and other automobile manufacturing companies who make decisions and set policy. These people decide; will it be flim flam or will it be ethical behavior; will we take responsibility for our mistakes, or not. You know the answer.

The Nature of the Beast

Corporations think in terms of quarterly reports of earnings. Everything, and I mean everything is subordinate to this. Careers are based on this concept. Huge salaries and perks are based on this concept. The value of the company’s stock is based on this. We don’t have to look far to see the result of these pressures. Newspapers are filled almost daily with examples of what happens to those who succumb to the Dark Side of the business force. You are experiencing multiple effects designed to accomplish one thing for the corporation—save money and make a good report to their shareholders. It is actuarial; it is statistics, numbers.

Bonus Plans

Somewhere up the corporate ladder someone’s bonus plan is based on the amount of money spent on warranty repairs. If the dealership stays within this budget, it’s a happy Christmas. If not, if you come in after this budget has been consumed, you will start getting the treatment. We think of it as the gauntlet.

Entering the Gauntlet

The Gauntlet begins when you arrive the second time for a repair of the same defect. The threat of this being a potential Lemon sets off alarms with those trained at the dealership level. "Oh, oh," they say, "If we can’t actually repair it, we better employ every trick we know to make this person give up and go away." It is incredibly cynical, even cruel because it undermines the owner’s safety, and peace of mind. To make someone give up you have to remove hope. Think about that! Remove hope. You have to drive the owner from being happy and proud of having a new car into apathy and despair that anything can ever be done about it. It is hard to imagine this but it most certainly a fact.

What You are Told

If you are a woman this might sound familiar: "That’s just the way they run honey." It is patronizing, chauvinistic crap. These days fewer and fewer people, men and women, really understand how their car runs or is made. The cars are just too complex. Here’s another; "We couldn’t duplicate the problem." You drive out of the shop and it happens before you get to the first stop sign. Self doubt creeps in. You aren’t sure you know what you know. How about this? "It’s running according to manufacturer’s specifications, it meets industry standards." Flim flam, absolutely! When your car stalls periodically and won’t start this is not according to some unknown industry standard. And there’s this old stand by. "Just bring it back, we’ll fix it." Do they fix it? No. They may find something that seems related to the problem, but it does not cure the problem. This one is particularly nasty. "Are you sure you properly know how to drive the vehicle?" Your first thought might be to punch the guy in the mouth, but you are still civilized and don’t do that. The issue wasn’t raised accidentally. It could become a legal issue when a claim is being denied. As you will see in the lemon stories, there is a situation where a Manufacturer’s Engineering Technical Specialist suggests that test show that the owner didn’t tighten the gas cap properly and that this is the cause of the problem. It is flim-flam of course. But the effect is to continually throw doubt on the issue. It is even possible that you will be met with antagonism. "Oh, you again!" As if somehow all this trouble is your fault. Enough of this for the moment: It’s pretty darn depressing.

Other Diversions

This one is very common. The Service Writer at the dealership writes down the problem not as you described it, but in a way that is ambiguous or in such away that it seems to be a different line of repairs. The purpose of this is to allow the dealership to state that they weren’t given a reasonable opportunity to repair the vehicle. This is one of the ways they avoid a Lemon Law suit. The dealership is going to try every way to discourage the customer from coming back so as to avoid 4 or more repairs for the same defect.

Here’s another trick. You are offered this really excellent deal on a trade-in, as though these fine fellows at the dealership have nothing but your best interests at heart. It won’t be a good deal! A good deal would be if you bought the vehicle and it ran as advertised.

Summary

It wasn’t an accident of fate. It started with the top management at the manufacturer. It worked its way down though the chain through the dealerships to you. It wasn’t personal on their part except for greed, irresponsibility and an incredible lack of feeling for their customers. Factually, they do not know who you are or care. All policy is driven by the bottom line. This in itself is not evil. It is how a company succeeds. However, one can look around and find companies that are responsible to their customers and those that are not. A policy of delay, trickery, flim flam and intentional misery given to the customer is followed in the hopes that you will descend into apathy and give up.

You are Not Alone

This has happened to countless numbers of consumers. Does this feel familiar? You are in the middle of a dispute with the dealership over the defect(s) with your vehicle and you feel like an insect about to be rolled over by a semi. There is a sense of being powerless. They are, after all, one of the biggest corporations in the world. They can hire squadrons of legal help.

I urge you not to give up. Understand what we tell you here. Call your attorney regardless of whether you are told it won’t do any good. That’s just another part of the gauntlet.